Hello readers, I hope this finds you well. I am so excited to announce that the fully updated and revised edition of Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder which I worked on for the 25th anniversary of my first book, is now available wherever books are sold!
This project that started out as a “light refresh,” just updating the essential scientific advances morphed into a rewriting and updating of nearly every page! Thank you to my editor, Elysia Liang and all the folks at Random House for supporting this project when it grew into something much bigger than either of us anticipated.
I did my first interview for the new book recently-coming soon from the folks at ADHD Kids Can Thrive Podcast—Kate Brownfield asked me what has changed over the past 25 years since the first edition came out. Though you might think that would be the very question that I would be most prepared for having spent many, many hours (many, many, many as these post-it notes attest!) working on this new edition, my answer—surprised me-- because it was a truth that I didn’t realize in all these months. Yes, in addition to all the advances and refinements in treatment approaches, in our understanding of such conditions as Pediatric Acute-Onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome (PANS) and Pediatric Autoimmune Disorders Associated with Strep (PANDAS), and more, what changed most over these 25 years? Well…Me.
What I mean is, in reading over the first edition, I saw how working with all the kids and families I’ve had the great privilege to know in the intervening years has deeply, deeply influenced my thinking and understanding of how OCD works. Immensely! Am I overstating it? I don’t think so. Working with families in the trenches has helped me refine the language, phrases, and strategies that facilitate the best communication and collaboration to generate clear steps… and hope… and importantly to make a foundation of change that enables children to reclaim the story of their life from what OCD might intend. I really wanted to share the powerful phrases, illustrations, stories and wisdom that have evolved through the thousands of hours of conversations with kids and families taking charge of OCD. I am so fortunate to have had the best teachers in these twenty-five years, and I want to share what I’ve learned with you.
I wrote the first edition of Freeing Your Child from OCD back in 2000 after working with so many families really struggling feeling lost and frightened as they saw their otherwise reasonable children taken over by rules, worries, frightening thoughts, exacting rituals which were taking over their child’s happiness and wellbeing and the family’s as well. Any time our children are struggling it is upsetting to a parent—what is the expression, we’re only as well as our least happy child? When it’s known struggles that are familiar to us—we at least have some ideas how to approach our child and the general direction in which to help them navigate. But with OCD nothing is familiar. Why would a child wash their hands till they are chapped and bleeding? Why would they be stuck in a doorway unable to pass through until they’ve said a certain prayer? Or have to put their clothes on and off multiple times until they feel right or till they get a good picture in their mind? These rules don’t make sense. But when you understand when they are coming from—they make OCD sense. And that is exactly when changing the rules can happen.
Parents tell their children what the world is—they explain everything—from hiccups, to sunsets, to math problems and manners. There’s a name and a rationale for all of those things. When parents understand how OCD gets “built” the mechanisms of intrusive thoughts that feel urgent, and rituals that feel like they have the power to “undo the threat of the thoughts”—they also can understand how to crack the code and help free their child from this debilitating disorder. When they can name the brain glitch they can downgrade the authority of the thoughts—they are “junk mail” from the brain or “spam,” they sound urgent and personal, but they are fake and have no relevance or importance, and they can help their child skip or change the rituals one step at a time. Working little by little seeing how the anxiety goes away when they break the rules helps kids continue to challenge OCD’s authority and take charge of their life! They can see that breaking rituals is like jumping in a cold swimming pool (or more like sticking one tiny toe at a time) it feels so uncomfortable at first—but then—what happens? We adjust. Some of their swimming pools will be freezing—others more lukewarm—they will start with what they are ready for and work their way up their fear ladder.
One more important point—recently one of my young patients shared that her psychiatrist said that the goal of treating OCD is really about coasting—that people cannot overcome it. My jaw practically fell to the floor! I was so shocked and so glad that my patient told me this. And it made me think—I better be clearer from the get-go—OCD is very treatable, the prognosis is so good for children and adults. The community (ever growing!) of practitioners treating OCD are generally happy and creative people. Why? Happy, because kids get better. They get their lives back. We are happy because we get to witness and participate in kids discovering that … like in The Wizard of Oz, OCD isn’t the great and mighty Oz, but the neurological equivalent of a misguided old guy behind the curtain. No authority. Just glitchy. And therapists who treat OCD are also creative because let’s face it—if OCD “normal” is setting up rules and obstacles for things like how kids eat, talk, dress, count, pretty much anything under the sun… we have to be very creative to come up with exposures (courage challenges) to undo them!
If you are a parent of a child with OCD, I hope you will feel empowered to introduce your child to the powerful treatments that are available and in so doing in the fierce and loving way we do—help change the course of your child’s life—for a lifetime!
